Almost two years have passed since we lost our boy. I haven't had the strength to visit this site, but tonight I mustered up the courage to do so. In part, I believe it's because greater things are coming. More advances in Epilepsy research, more people willing to fight for the cause. I am strengthened by hopes of a brighter future for all, including us. I have hopes that the ache in my chest will ease, though I have yet to see much improvement. My family is trying. We smile, with hope that Conner will catch a glimpse of us trying to heal. He wants us to be happy and live extraordinary lives. And so with tears in our eyes, we try to go on...for him.
I also wanted to tell you that we received a very special letter a while back. As I said before, though I wanted to share this information, the sting was just too strong, but I'm ready now. When Conner passed, his organs couldn't be donated because of us not knowing how long he'd been gone. We insisted that his brain be studied and donated to science, to help in the search for a cure. We also donated Conner's corneas. After all, his eyes were magnificent.
Several months after we donated his corneas, we received a letter. A letter that made me smile and cry. Conner's corneas were successfully transplanted. His corneas brought sight to someone plagued with blindness. To think of a piece of him enriching someone's life, still walking this earth, warms my aching heart.
I will try to write again soon. Like I said, big things are happening. God has introduced me to two AMAZING women. I see wonderful things coming. It's too soon to talk about, but Conner, Mommy is going to make a difference. I promise, Bud. Everything I do, I do for you. And everything you did was for others. We are going to make a difference.